I hadn’t expected it to, but today felt ceremonial. The last day of technically having the shop. Even though there had been nothing to sell there for over a week now. Realistically it would’ve been a better use of time to look for another job. Just get on with the next chapter in life. But like the new year, we enjoy anticipating more than actually starting and doing. The prospect of the next big thing is more exciting.
So I don’t blame her. I would’ve done the same thing. Though I would’ve felt ashamed over it whole time. She didn’t seem to mind. We had different life philosophies. Maybe that’s why she was spending this day with me.
It was the kind of special day that someone normal would have celebrated with her friends at a bar—throw a party and get real drunk to celebrate the end of a chapter.
But instead, she was with me. She hadn’t made a ruckus over it by telling everyone. In fact, besides the liquidation sale, she mostly kept the closing of the store quiet. She'd promoted the liquidation sale and the broad fact that the store was closing, but she'd never really marketed the date. Never had a countdown of the days. People around knew that she was closing, but not precisely when. Kind of like the birthday of a person you know decently well. Once the month approaches you kind of can feel that it’s around the corner, or just past it. But you know don’t the exact date. And so the people have their own lives. They’re too busy to know exactly when Jordan was closing her shop. So if she didn’t make the effort to let people know, then they wouldn’t know until after the fact.
So here we were. Driving to a video store in the middle of nowhere. Some small town that I’d never heard of. Just the two of us. In my mind I was the only person who knew that this was her last day of ‘having’ her smoke shop. I knew that other people knew, but today, right now sitting in this car, I was the only one thinking about it. Who knew what the other people who remotely kept in touch with Jordan were thinking about at this moment. But I knew that it was probably not as captivating as this.