I constantly feel like I don't know enough and will never know enough, at least not as much as the next person in the room... any room.
But how much is enough? And why do I feel the need to compare myself to anyone else?
I keep telling myself that it's okay. Slow down. Don't just read, reflect. You will never know as much as anyone else in any room, and that's fine. That's not the point of knowledge.
I think part of the guilt and insecurity is because more and more often I come across younger people reading books on subjects I was never exposed to, or never exposed myself to at that age. I started trying to compensate for it but it didn't always work out because there wasn't always a point to why I was reading what I was reading.
There is so much out there to learn, and a couple of months ago I realized that my learning should be more targeted, serving specific needs and interests, because there are only so many hours in a day one can spare when not working or sleeping.
There are certain areas I want to see myself become an expert in, and one in particular is writing. I've always loved writing, and I want to see myself grow as a writer. Another is editing. I already receive requests from friends to review their manuscripts, and want to enhance my editing skills to the point where I can start offering it as a paid service. That's also why I'm here; it's not enough to read and consume, I needed a space to create, to put those skills into practice everyday. The only difference is that I don't edit the posts I publish here (not yet anyway) because I don't want to inhibit my writing just yet.
This month, I resolved to only read books that would add value to me in the areas I was specifically looking to develop in—writing, creativity, and productivity—so that I can add value to the world in turn.