Today I talked to my partner and realized I forget almost everything about her. I tried to remember and couldn't, and it makes me feel panic and lost. Messaging with her, I recovered some short moments from my mind: hugging her from back when she was doing coffee to me at the morning, taking her hand while japanese pianist was playing, raffled nape I was touching to wake her up... This process calmed me.
I checked our common photos and couldn't grasp who is this human near me. My visual memory totally removed her form from my mind. Only one thing I can remember very bright is her flavour. She uses really strong aroma oils: cardamom, coffee tree and something I don't even know how it's called.
Till the beginning of our relationships, I couldn't tolerate odors. I remembered only hard and strong grandfather's perfumes and they were totally nasty for me. All my girls tried to use parfumes also, but every time I asked them to avoid strong flaws because of my sensitivity.
In this case, she didn't ask me if she can. I felt her flaw from the first date and something is not connected with a humanity reacted inside of me. Now it becomes the strongest connection between us while I'm so far away: her perfume choice and my bleached memories.