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Jun 17, 2019 10:16:37


by @keni PATRON | 200 words | 10🔥 | 481💌


Current day streak: 10🔥
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I find that I like people who are not egotistical.

All of us have ego so I believe that it takes work to suppress it.  
I want to do that work and be the type of person who has more control over me. 

I observe people - particularly at work, who are very talented and intelligent. But just when there is an audience, you can see their ego take over in full display. 

I realized that it is hard as I get older. Things that didn't bother me before, seem to get to me now. I think pride fuels the ego as we age. I see it clearly in older people. I am also noticing it in myself.

Unfortunately, people can read my face like a book. So it will take a lot of work, but I consciously want to be aware of when my ego is getting too much control.

There is some aspect of stoicism and emotional control that helps to keep the ego in check. 

I do not have the right skills or knowledge at this time but I have added this to one of the things I want to work on. 

Anyone has any tips on this?

From Keni's collection:

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    @keni Ego can be tracked. You already did, "pride fuels ego as we age".

    It has upsides by the way, just like Baz mentioned you need some kind of ego to achieve some level of success. However as the successful fellow grows, he/she should learn that success is best managed with great deference.

    And that's how to nip ego and it's root (pride) in the bud, - deference. Defer a lot, deliberately.
    Albert Einstein said "There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle."
    That second way is a life of deference.

    The truth is, there's no mastery here. The more we grow older the more we achieve, the more we achieve the more pride seems enticing. And at that point - deference.

    Seun Oyebode avatar Seun Oyebode | Jun 17, 2019 23:26:34
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      @seunoyebode - Everything is a miracle. I should say that more often.

      Thank you Seun.

      Keni avatar Keni | Jun 17, 2019 23:48:24
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    @keni I always had a huge ego. Might explain why I want to build a business instead of spending years in a company. I used to easily get hurt and take things very personally. I'm still working on it, but as you said learning to be more stoic is key. I just don't give as much fuck as I used to. Learning to be more compassionate also helped, but I'm still struggling. Doing hard things, getting uncomfortable, often feeling dumb... it all showed me how insignificant I am. Once I understood I am not special and my only duty is to keep on getting better, my ego started getting off the way.

    Basile Samel avatar Basile Samel | Jun 17, 2019 16:45:26
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      @basilesamel - For 25 - you are progressing at lightening speed Baz. I don't think ego has to do with building a business though - that is more of being a risk taker. But I agree - trying new things and being uncomfortable - totally helps with any ego related issues. Well done.

      Keni avatar Keni | Jun 17, 2019 11:03:38
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      So glad to see someone else with a similar journey... working hard on their thing.


      Abe avatar Abe | Jun 17, 2019 17:11:32
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    @keni I think a gratitude practice is one way to keep the ego in check. Another one may be accepting new challenges. One thing that fuels ego is being a big fish in a little pond. I like the saying, "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room."

    Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Jun 17, 2019 07:42:39
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      @brandonwilson - I like accepting new challenges. I am working actively on that. Lets see how much progress I make on the ego front.

      Keni avatar Keni | Jun 17, 2019 11:01:27
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    @keni mindfulness and meditation

    Jason Leow avatar Jason Leow | Jun 17, 2019 22:41:20
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      @jasonleow - I will need more details. I have tried meditation and I find that I fall asleep.
      What do you do in particular?

      Keni avatar Keni | Jun 17, 2019 11:00:53
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      @keni hmmm I'll try my best to explain, I'm still a student myself too. Both are practices in witnessing the mind, to widen the gap between thought and response. The longer I do both (and yes I do sometimes fall asleep too, but I think it's just the body telling me I need rest), the more well practised I get with watching myself, my thoughts, my actions. In past, my thoughts triggered responses immediately, like a knee-jerk. But slowly, the gap between thought and response widens, with more practice. On good days, I have an egoistic thought to act, but thanks to the gap, I didn't do it (respond). Most days, I fail. But the good days give hope. I don't hope to extinguish the ego's voice in my head, but I think I can learn to stop responding some day.

      Jason Leow avatar Jason Leow | Jun 17, 2019 23:21:05
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