Too many of us fall victim to the People Pleaser mentality. This mentality sucks us dry of energy and we end up becoming mentally enslaved to increasing the happiness of people in our lives that aren't any more important than we are.
Identifying the People Pleaser
- The People Pleaser likes to please others and to be liked by everyone more than anything.
- The People Pleaser will never turn down a social invitation of any kind regardless of if they truly want to go or not.
- The People Pleaser prioritizes the happiness of others above themselves
- The People Pleaser relies on the external validation of others in order to feel good about themselves
- The People Pleaser does not have the heart to say "No"
- When someone doesn't like the People Pleaser, it really really bothers them
- The People Pleaser does not take criticism very well
If this describes you in any way shape or form, listen up.
If you're a People Pleaser, you're FAKE.
The good news is that you can change and become a more authentic, you.
Killing the People Pleaser
- Start small, by saying "No" to one person. Feel free to come up with a legitimate reason on top of the "No" if you think it'll help. It will take a lot of energy and willpower but it will get easier over time and as a result you'll have more time in your life to do what you actually want to.
- Slowly increase this number and eventually you'll be a pro at this
- Build up some real achievements (physical activity ideally) with your new found free time and keep topping them and this will build a sense of pride and self confidence which will help wean you off having to seek external validation
- When invited to a social activity, if your mental response isn't "Hell yes", say "No".
- Start filling your new found free time with activities that make you happy and empower you to do more and be more.
- When you receive a negative comment from someone whether in real life or online, breathe, and tell yourself that that person is living an unhappy life and hasn't dealt with their own insecurities and that is why they take it out on you. Or tell yourself that they are just fake people with fake friends who like to flaunt what they have to give the appearance that they are better than you or richer than you. Tell yourself whatever you have to tell yourself so that comment doesn't eat you alive. Also, if its online, responding to it is almost always a waste of time unless its a constructive criticism.