I attempted to defray an awkward situation of my own doing today.
This morning I was looking for my large, blue pot, and, after rifling through all the cabinets, my first act was to send a message to my roommates: "has anyone seen my blue pot?"
I wonder if it was accusatory because one of my roommates responded along the lines of "no," followed by "we ain't no thieves." She claimed she was joking, but I do believe that my roommates know my somewhat uptight personality, and that preexisting mental model of me might've given my question an accusatory subtext.
Regretting not asking the question as "I think I misplaced my blue pot--has anyone seen it," I awkwardly followed up with "I was just wondering because I might've put it somewhere random." I'm addition, I apologized in person to my roommates because I didn't want there to be any lingering bad feelings.
Then later in the day, I instinctively accused my partner for a box that fell out of the fridge, when it wasn't his. That moment made me realize that I am rather accusatory, that the closer I am to a person, the more leeway I feel I have being mean to them, and that I need to work on that part of myself.