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Mar 02, 2019 16:12:06

Quit Suffixing your Endearing Phrases

by @abrahamKim PATRON | 331 words | 4🔥 | 433💌


Current day streak: 4🔥
Total posts: 433💌
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I love you, man.

I love you, girl.

I love you, pal.

After college graduation -- accompanying the typical Midwestern pressures to start a career, buy a house, get a dog, and marry somebody -- was a pressure against intimacy. 

Bizarrely, my entire life before graduating college, I'd been fixated on forming intimate relationships. Then suddenly one day, like a light switch, new intimate relationships felt eschewed. Felt like a thing of the past -- something people my age just didn't do.

I was a weak person so I went with the flow, began not pursuing or actively fostering intimate relationships. But still, some spontaneously sprouted. 

When this happened, I was unprepared. I don't think you ever can be when it comes to intimate relationships. It's the more surface-level or transactional relationships that you're able to prep for. But an inherent attribute of intimacy is that it floors you -- makes you feel some type of way.

One thing I've noticed used as a buffer from this uncomfortable flooring is the suffixing of endearing phrases. Like a friend adding 'man' to the phrase 'I love you'. I've done it too. My friend once told me that he loved me, and added man at the end. And I said it back, also adding 'man' at the end.

But in honesty the suffix subtracts in this case. 

In literature I can think of one example in the popular novel 1984. 

In it, Julia's first note doesn't say: 'I love you comrade', because that would take away from the note. It makes it sound as though Julia appreciates Winston as a comrade... rather than just Winston as a person.

I think a modern struggle with growing commodity and available to products and services is the commodification of the people in our relationships. So don't do that. Or I mean, you can do whatever you'd like, but I will try not doing so. 

From now on I won't say things like "I love you, man." but instead.

I love you.

  • 1

    @abrahamKim - nice.

    We need a similar post about people making it a question too...

    "You know I love you right?"

    Keni avatar Keni | Mar 02, 2019 11:50:33
    • 1

      @abrahamKim @keni oh snap definitely

      S N avatar S N | Mar 02, 2019 23:53:54
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