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Mar 19, 2019 21:39:24

"safe space" and nobody is talking

by @lucjah PATRON | 265 words | 🐣 | 398💌


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While reading @arthurkendall's post, so many thoughts and emotions flooded me that I have to write a reply, which actually is a reply to the reply to my post "do you want to get married?"

So, the flood started with awe. The text is so genuine, wise, to the point.

But very soon discomfort took over. I felt ashamed and helpless, because I know how often I walk into the "safe space" wearing heavy boots and spread dirt and shit all over it.

But then, reading on, I started feeling angry. Isn't it easy to complain "Ok... I agree to talk about all these problems and feelings but you are fucking up everything by trashing the "safe space". That's true, but on the other hand, what would be if the "safe space" just WAS there, with nobody wanting to use it, knowing how to use it? What would be the point of that space just getting dusty, with broken doors and windows so dirty that no light can come in... It is safe all right, but for whom, for what...

And, isn't taking care of the "safe space" AND of the process (talking) too much for one person's job? (Sometimes just "dragging" the other to the "round table" so that actual "expressing feelings" can take place, is totally exhausting.) (I'm actually pissed off now!)

So what can be done when "talking" and keeping "the safe space" safe do not come easily together. I don't know. Do you?

And... THIS is why, @danielmiller, I am not milking the juicy cow of Cognitive Dissonance today... Damn it!!!



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