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Oct 22, 2019 22:23:47

Thoughts on Online Dating

by @carlosbeas PATRON | 544 words | 🐣 | 96💌

carlos beas

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Online dating can be a great tool to meet new people, but one should be careful not to let it become the only source of interactions with strangers and potential dating partners.

Having said that, I feel I am particularly susceptible to falling into the following trap:  Joining a new and shinny online dating platform which promises a new algorithm for matching you with your potential soulmate.  I put all my effort in coming up with the best profile pics I can find and the most original bio I can come up with and hope that this alone will manifest a my ideal soulmate.

Then, as I scan through the profiles that the algorithm chooses for me, I start to realize that not everyone is putting the same effort as some don't even bother to write their bio... so all you have for judging is their pictures (What could possibly go wrong with that?).

<Rant ALERT!>

Then, the most frustrating thing for me is when you eventually match with someone else (they like you and you like them) and they don't even bother to respond when you say "Hi" on the chat.  I mean... if you are not going to engage in conversation with the people who are matching with you, then what the heck are you in the platform for!?!?!?!?!

OK, I get it that maybe you don't check your notifications as often because you are a very busy person or you just like to respond at certain time sof the day.  That is perfectly fine, so long as you eventually reply... don't just leave people hanging forever; I find it extremely rude and disrespectful and should not be considered normal behavior.  IMHO, people that engage in this behavior should be kicked out of the platform because they are just wasting other people's time and emotional energy.

There is also the part where people use only profile pictures that do not accurately represent how they actually look in real life.  But that is a whole another topic that deserves it's own separate rant.

<End of Rant>

Anyways; In the past, I have fallen in the trap of relying solely on online dating apps for meeting people to date; after about a month or two of disappointment after disappointment, I eventually get tired and drop out of the platform only to later re-join and do it all over again.

I think it is worth to point out that all of my previous serious relationships have been with people I have met in-person first.  Online dating has never resulted in anything more than a date or maybe a new friendship.

I'm in the market again. This time around though, I'm trying some other practices and habits in real life (as opposed to online) which force me to put myself out there and in front of potential dating partners on a constant basis. I've found that having the "real-life" feedback loop provided by this approach has been a nice way to "cleanse" away the bad after-taste I get after every failed interaction in the online world.  It is encouraging and more sustainable than solely relying on the online dating world.

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