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Apr 03, 2019 07:35:00

Too clever for my own good

by @Arcticloon PATRON | 205 words | 605🔥 | 605💌

Janne Koponen

Current day streak: 605🔥
Total posts: 605💌
Total words: 130375 (521 pages 📄)

I have been living with the imposter syndrome long enough to coming in terms with it. I can acknowledge to myself that I was good enough despite the feeling of being inadequate.

But I don't like to remain at my established position. I'm always pushing myself forward. Constantly encountering these situations where I bring up new expertise and have the same doubts.

What if, at some point in not actually good enough. What if I'm not pushing myself enough and end up actually sucking at something. And then just shrugging it off due to thinking it must be just the feeling from the imposter syndrome. How can I distinguish those two?

Maybe it's exactly the syndrome that is pushing me forward and making sure I don't actually be an imposter. But if I discard those feelings and just keep thinking I am competent, will I still be able to motivate myself forward towards the excellence or shall I fall victim to this double imposter.

Why do I have to be so clever to come up with these horror scenarios over and over again. How deep can it go? Should I just revert back into listening to the simple imposter and admit I could be better?

Originally published at arcticloon.fi

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