Lately, I've been struggling with the concept of spontaneity and how to set boundaries around it in order to achieve a healthy growth in the "relationships" domain.
I think that being open to spontaneity is important in order to allow relationships to mature and new ones to be created. It is my belief that making and developing connections/relationships with other people is what makes life interesting, meaningful and, over all, worth living.
Moreover, I get that a little amount of spontaneity is healthy in life. And in fact, I would say it's almost a requirement if one is single (such as myself) and looking to meet a romantic partner.
However, where my struggle lies is in creating the space for spontaneity when being engaged in the focus and strict regimen of starting a business while also working a full-time job.
Perhaps I'm overdoing the whole thing. Perhaps I'm putting too many mental blocks around being rigorous and disciplined. But whatever it is, it gives me the feeling that I have little-to-no space for spontaneous social interactions to occur in my daily life.
Recently, this has manifested in me saying NO to friends who want to hang out at the last minute or in purposefully avoiding conversation with random people on serendipitous coffee shop encounters, and things of that nature.
One process I've recently started using to cope and improve in this area is to intentionally set aside time in my weekly calendar to be dedicated purely on social activities which can lead to more serendipity to occur. This has largely consisted on checking out and attending local meetups centered around my interests, with the idea being that these would be the spaces where I'm more likely to find people I'd like to connect and form relationships with.
So far it has helped in the following way:
By having it planned out ahead of time and in my calendar, I allow my mind to free up space to focus on work and business during the rest of my week, knowing that social-time is for sure happening and has a designated place and time. And when that time comes, I completely forget about work and business and focus entirely on being social.
I would love to hear from other people in similar situations and having different perspectives on how to strike a balance between business/career life and relationship life. Where one requires rigor and discipline; while the other requires being open to spontaneity.