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Mar 27, 2019 14:41:02

What made writing hard for me for so many years

by @abrahamKim PATRON | 373 words | 5🔥 | 435💌


Current day streak: 5🔥
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Writing was hardest for me when I had shitty reasons for why I wanted to do it. In me was an honest desire to be a good writer,  but honesty is often mistaken for worthiness. My desires had been driven purely by the superficial, the vain. I was driven by a desire to be seen as important and insightful. To share myself because I found myself so interesting. But these are unsustainable reasons. 

Because writing is such an arduous task, vanity can never be a sustainable fuel. Nobody should want to write, unless they were insane, not insane as comprehensively mentally insane, but madly plagued by some compulsion to express that is so strong that they must share it with others.

If sex weren't pleasurable then the obsession with it would evaporate. Without the pleasure -- physical and emotional -- most would lose their reason for engaging in such a sweaty, arduous task. 

The same is with writing. The mechanics and process of it are actually painful or tedious -- take your pick -- and the only reason to do it is if there's an underlying message you are dying to share. 

This might be taken rude by many on this site, but that hate will be worth it if this can convince even a single struggling person to ponder their honest and worthwhile reasons for wanting to write.

The reason why most struggle to write is because they are acting akin to someone having sex with a person they aren't attracted to, when they have no libido.

Just as software isn't about the literal code. And just as sex isn't about the literal physical friction. Or just as building a home is more than the literal hammering of a nail into wood and stacking of bricks. Writing is not about the literal writing/typing-of-keys. It's not even about the words or sentences. 

It's about the message and what it does for someone who might read it.

So I implore you, if you are struggling to write, to take time and energy, and spend them on figuring out why at all you want to write. Just because it's culturally in vogue to be a good writer wont cut it. Be warm blooded. Get your reasons from within. 

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    @abrahamKim I enjoyed your post very much! It made me reflect: What is my message? What is my reason to write? Lately, it has just helped me to reflect and digest my experiences and learnings. What's your reason to write?

    Mel avatar Mel | Mar 31, 2019 14:24:56
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      My reason is because I want to tell my story the best way possible, and I think writing's the best fit for my personality and natural inclinations.

      Earlier, I had wanted to make film, but the social/cooperation/labor/resources aspects of that craft is much higher than writing. So that's why I chose writing.

      If I had master control of resources (this includes even humans I have my bidding) then I would make interactive story-driven games.

      But then again, if I had master control like the above I probably wouldn't have much of a story to tell. My desire to share my story comes from my limitations and challenges. I think this is true for all of us actually.

      Abe avatar Abe | Apr 01, 2019 23:06:11
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      @abrahamKim thanks for sharing Kim! I like your reason to write: sharing your story overcoming challenges that (I guess) life throws at all of us.

      Mel avatar Mel | Apr 02, 2019 19:48:24
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    @abrahamKim - Interesting post Abe.

    "It's about the message and what it does for someone who might read it."

    I don't know the exact why as clearly as you state. I started it as a habit I wanted to develop. I am convinced that any type of communication is a skill that ought to be mastered. I wanted to improve public speaking more than I wanted to write. I always loved watching courtroom drama and debates where a person could articulate themselves well.
    But writing, I stumbled upon by accident and everyday I fall in love with it a little bit more. Let me think about your question some more and get to the why.

    @seunoyebode - See this.

    Keni avatar Keni | Mar 28, 2019 19:38:05
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      @abrahamKim @keni Thanks for calling me Keni.

      Nice one Abe, and very interesting analogies. This is an amazing statement "Because writing is such an arduous task, vanity can never be a sustainable fuel.".

      For me, i love communicating but then i always feel i'm not that good enough. Very well put by James Clear "The apprentice has the taste, but not the skill. The craftsman has the taste and the skill." (https://jamesclear.com/ira-glass-failure).

      So finding a place that gives room to that raw expression without the need to be perfect or censorship is part of what keeps me coming here daily.

      Vanity never sustains any worthwhile endeavor.

      Seun Oyebode avatar Seun Oyebode | Mar 29, 2019 06:22:19
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      @keni @seunoyebode

      You two might not know it, but both of you have shown that you already know why, not only in your posts but in these short comments.

      And both of you also have shown that you are driven by love rather than vanity. So the correct ingredients are already there in the pot for you two. And the stove is on. Now the only factor is …………… ------ time

      Btw Seun, I've noticed you've been wanting to read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Like you've been listening to all his stuff and reading all his stuff? Do you not have access to audible.? I actually am subscribed to it and it gives me one audiobook a month. This is a great investment, because it's like a person whipping you not letting you stand still. Every month you get to learn from a new source. And last month's for me was James Clear and Atomic Habits. The audiobook is also read by the author himself if that helps.

      I know that you said you feel like you already feel like you know the book just by consuming his podcasts, but I wanted to make sure you saw him on this podcast:

      If you have time then the video is awesome. It's awesome to watch the facial expressions and body language:

      If you don't have time, then audio only:


      Also, if yo uchoose to only do audio, I recommend you atleast watch a clip of the interview on youtube. They have selected clips of the talk: here's one:


      Abe avatar Abe | Mar 29, 2019 13:22:10
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      @abrahamKim Yeah. I've been listening to that particular Rich Roll interview, and i'm loving it. Glad to know it has a video, thanks for sharing. I kinda like to want hear every single word when i listen to podcast, it's becoming a problem i need to solve as i spend long time listening to long length podcasts.
      Audible is okay, i'm not ready for that investment at the moment.
      I actually want the physical copy of Atomic Habits, as far as i know, it not's in Nigeria at the moment. Someone was supposed to help me get it from the UK this week, it didn't happen. If i try all my possible options, i'd finally have to buy from bookdepository.com , my concern is how many weeks it will take to get to me.

      Seun Oyebode avatar Seun Oyebode | Mar 29, 2019 14:43:30
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      @abrahamKim @seunoyebode - Thank you for your compliments Abe. :).
      I am happy the stove in on. Time can take it's time.

      Keni avatar Keni | Mar 29, 2019 11:09:29
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      You should consider emailing Clear. I think he's not THAT big so maybe he'll respond. And send you like a signed copy? How cool would that be!

      Abe avatar Abe | Apr 01, 2019 23:19:09
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    @abrahamKim Wait...sex isn't just about the literal physical friction?? ;) I'm not the target audience of this post; nonetheless, I find your insights about reasons for writing to be thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing.

    Brandon Wilson avatar Brandon Wilson | Mar 27, 2019 07:30:13
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      Let's hit the pub and ingest ethanol to depress our nerves and look for organisms of the other sex to partake in physical friction with!

      Abe avatar Abe | Mar 28, 2019 15:37:54
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