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May 16, 2019 21:02:45

Why I was drawn to Zen meditation

by @chrisdeuda PATRON | 747 words | ๐Ÿฃ | 132๐Ÿ’Œ

Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ

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This post is a long reply from @jasonleow โ€˜cause he asks me this on his great post on meditation.

The fact that you never really forgot about it even after years, sounds like it means something special to you. Why are you drawn to it?

I intentionally delaying reply since I realized it deserves a more lengthy explanation. I might add a little bit story on it. Iโ€™m glad you asked me about it. It really helps me to dig back again on my 6 years memories on why I really like it.


Looking back a little and asking my self on why I was really fascinated with Zen Buddhism and meditation.

Story on how Iโ€™ve got into it

It was 6 years ago when I was in 2nd year in college. If I remember correctly I was in the middle of reading a lot of books about self-help and self-improvement book. It seems Iโ€™ve undergone on a journey to improve myself since I donโ€™t have confidence in me and Iโ€™ve got really attached to someone and it was freaking hard to leave without them.

It seems at the time I was seeking validations from someone just to be happy. It took me a really long time to realize it. While browsing a lot of books on self-improvement. I stumble upon the book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. At that time, I donโ€™t really have an idea about Zen and meditation stuff. While reading a few chapters of it in eBook. It seems I was hooked, I like it, this really something that I really need. I actually print the whole ebook so that I will have a hard copy โ€˜cause it was hard to find it in our bookstore. So I just decided to print it.

I start to dream on maybe I should go to a mountain and just become a monk.

What part I really like

Beginners Mindโ€”

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."

When Iโ€™ve found that I really like coding and programming it was really exciting at the beginning but when Iโ€™ve gained some professional experience. Iโ€™ve already had a lot of assumptions and expectation on my head that prevents me from taking actions. Becoming a curious person slowly dies. So I like to keep the childlike in me even though Iโ€™ve already had some experience still curious to learn and improve my craft.

This is something that is easy to say but it was hard to practice.

Living in Momentsโ€”

This is really something that is close to my heart and Iโ€™ve actually become my tag line on my Tumblr blog. It goes something like this โ€œIt the world of fast face technology, donโ€™t forget to live in the moments.โ€ Before I always caught up on wishing about the futures and I tend to forget to live in the moments.

Before, Iโ€™m this person who multi-task, eating while watching TV, Reply to messages while coding and doing something important. Iโ€™ve learned to focus my attention on just one thing.

Lastly, that really hits me is about regret in the past. Wherein there is something that I didnโ€™t do that I wish I did. Which basically, Iโ€™ve kept repeating the scenario in my head and thinking only if I do this and really pursue it. It was a really crazy loop and I always feel bad about it.

When Iโ€™ve read about it in Zen, I start to accept things in the past โ€˜cause it's already happening and we can no longer do anything about it. So I just focus on doing everything every moment so that Iโ€™ll make sure there would be no regret anymore in my life.

When Life Happens

After I graduate and enter into the workforce, I completely forgot about it and I've moved to other books. There is always this moment when you are really hooked at something for a short period of time and suddenly there is some crazy stuff that will drag your attention and you will put down whatever in your hands as of the moment.


Most of my knowledge came from reading and some practice. I really don'tโ€™ have experience yet when there are actual Monk and Zen teacher that guides me on Zen meditation, but hopefully, at some point in the future, I would like to immerse myself with real monks. 

P.S. I'm actually born Roman Catholic but I'm more fascinated with Zen Buddhism.

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    @chrisdeuda this is roshi Kwong, a student of Suzuki roshi
    and some beautiful talks of his
    and here Hoitsu Suzuki roshi, Shunriu Suzuki son

    Lucjah avatar Lucjah | May 16, 2019 21:35:16
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      @lucjah Awesome. I Just bookmarked it. Thank you much for sharing :). I just realized that Shunriu Suzuki is my first teacher in Zen meditation ( but only in the book). haha. Maybe we should have a #ZenStreak as well. haha

      Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ avatar Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ | May 18, 2019 00:48:52
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    @chrisdeuda meditation, mindfulness and self-awareness is helpful. hey, could you please share your experience too when you've already immersed yourself with the monks? thanks! looking forward ๐Ÿ˜Š

    flowerful avatar flowerful | May 16, 2019 21:34:07
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      @flowerful surely, I'm really excited as well to meet a monk. I can only see them in online videos and movies. Not sure when it will happen but it will definitely happen sometime in the future( I guess budget and time is the only constraint that preventing me from doing retreat). All I could do for now is just practice it again the meditation.

      Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ avatar Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ | May 18, 2019 00:46:04
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      @chrisdeuda you like doing some guided silent retreats? I've been doing it for the past years under a certain religious congregation each time I feel like I needed it. By the way, I'm a Roman Catholic, too. You want me to recommend one for you if I get the chance to ask some friends there in MNL? In the meantime, I can recommend you the app: "Reimagining the Examen" for your everyday life. The Examen by St. Ignatius of Loyola is of a great help, too. :)

      flowerful avatar flowerful | May 18, 2019 13:21:09
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      @flowerful I don't have much experience on guided silent retreats ( Except the retreats that we have before graduations in college on Catholic spaces with a lot of trees and open field ( kinda similar to the monastery in Zen). I see in your profile that you are in the Philippines too?

      As of the moment not in my priority to do retreat. hehe. But it would be nice to have some contacts for future reference. Thanks for app recommendation. I'll definitely check it out.

      Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ avatar Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ | May 19, 2019 00:00:32
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    @chrisdeuda fascinating! I love origin stories in meditation. Seems like no two are identical. I also started mine from a book, so that's some common ground. Hope to read more stories when you immerse deeper in the future :)

    Jason Leow avatar Jason Leow | May 16, 2019 21:20:00
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      @jasonleow I can't find people in my area that was interested in meditation so I thought at that time I was weird. haha. I'll definitely write about it. For now, what I could do is start practicing it again for real

      Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ avatar Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ | May 18, 2019 00:42:17
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      @chrisdeuda niceee. keep sitting and writing! :)

      Jason Leow avatar Jason Leow | May 18, 2019 09:30:50
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      @jasonleow thanks :)

      Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ avatar Chris ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ | May 18, 2019 23:50:59
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