I once partied a bit too hard in Berlin.
It was winter and I came down with a massive illness.
Ive never felt so fucking bad in my life.
I was completely knocked out for 4 days straight.
I remember lying there on pain meds, still in insane pain.
At that point, not knowing when and how this will pass or if I might have caught something serious, I remember clearly thinking:
„Oh wow, if only I could go back to just feeling the same way I felt a couple of days ago. If this passes, everything will be 100% fine and Ill be the happiest dude alive.“
But im not the happiest dude alive.
An employee at work was a dick today.
I also hurt my foot on the chair.
And just generally I havent slept that well.
I dont feel as insanely happy about being in good health as I thought I would feel about it, when I was super ill and feeling like shit.
I also feel like there is absolutely nothing special about how I feel in this moment.
But then I try to imagine myself lying on my deathbed and thinking about the time I was 30, typing these words to keep my writing streak going in this awesome platform here.
There I would be the happiest dude ever if I just could go back to that moment right now.
Im essentially there.