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Apr 10, 2019 23:08:07

zazen streak (1) ego tripping

by @lucjah PATRON | 200 words | 🐣 | 398💌


Current day streak: 0🐣
Total posts: 398💌
Total words: 105365 (421 pages 📄)

(zazen streak day 11)

I wrote few days ago, that my experience of being here, keeping my streak, writing (sometimes in pain, sometimes in numbness, sometimes drowning in embarrassment) the 200 words every day, but also doing it not on my own, but in a community, with a group of people driven by the same need, struggling with the same obstacles, reminded me of another, very similar experience, of "doing" zen.

And I dared to start another streak, the zazen streak. 

Even though my first "proper" encounter with zen meditation was 15 years ago, there has been a huge gap of 4 (last) years and I feel like a novice. Annoyingly burdened with the whole neophyte syndrome. 

I am digging out, from the memory and from the internet accessible sources, both the important and the smartassy information. It feels so exciting (my ego is tripping joyfully) to be doing "the nothing" which makes all the sense in the world. To practice just to practice. To sit on the ground, facing a wall, with the one goal of...  sitting on the ground facing a wall. 

How amazingly cool is, in our modern times, fixated on goals, efficacy, (good) "progress" and time management, to apotheosize "doing nothing"! Right?

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